none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
