So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
