what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
