My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
