You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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