wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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