I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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