I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
