She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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