I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
