Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
