I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
