bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
