just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
