I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
