I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
i out mim tonsoeep
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