Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
