Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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