a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
do herpes really smell.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
