He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
