My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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