laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Randomize
