I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
