sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
