First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 607 share tweet
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
