It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
