I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
