She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
