just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
