Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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