i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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