Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Just pee around me
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
