I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
