i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
