The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
you had me at cake vodka
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
