Nicole vs. Life
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize