in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
