You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
