Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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