can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Randomize
