Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
