we have pet lesbian snakes
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
