Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
YAS. BRING CRAB.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
