Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
