hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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