So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
They took my balls.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
