i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize
