i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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