I hate all girls vehemently.
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
