First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
