Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
